Don't you send me to vm
if you like me you must not know who I am
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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