we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Holy shit dude........stairs
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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