he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
