apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
