It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
sex in a hospital.. check
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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