singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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