Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
