Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
