Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Holy shit dude........stairs
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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