she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
