I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i need to put some appletini on your dick
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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