Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
