I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
