Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
