so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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