all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
