STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
