The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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