walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
