i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
