Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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