Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
