Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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