i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i already hear my dad disowning me
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
