Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
