She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
