She went from zero to smokin in five shots
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
This is the high leading the old right now
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
