hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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