We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
