That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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