he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
time to smoke my breakfast
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
