are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
