8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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