dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
FUCK WHALES
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
