there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
