we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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