I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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