I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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