I think I am morally bankrupt
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
