Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
