Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
