I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
