i jhust puked up my retainher.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I am naked and annoyed.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
