DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Farmville is her only friend.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
