i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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