so explain again why im purple
no
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
