If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
