Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
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I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
