We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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