My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
