Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
