My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
