Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Houston, we have a squirter
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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